Oh Lord, Not Two Rings?! The Engagement Story Part 2.

Part Deux

Did I mention that I bought her 2 rings? Not for the same event, one was to celebrate the show being over and done with, the other for said proposal. Both to be given within 4 days of one another. Here’s the logic, I would buy her the one ring and give it to her after her Matinee. It would be to say “congrats on doing such a wicked job, you rule, i’m so proud of you, I’m lowering your expectations of getting a proposal out of me because who gives 2 rings to their partner so soon together!?” I’d ask you to guess what happened when I handed her the first ring but I embarrassingly will admit that I was probably the only one not expecting the “WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!!!” response. Sure it may have been proclaimed in a joking-like tone but it wasn’t far from a “I wish you’d ask me already, not kidding” manner. If you don’t know DKK, you should know that theatrics are in her blood, she can be the loudest human being on earth and also the scariest. At that time I was both scared of her extremely loud reaction and that I may have f*****cked up the plan of attack. Even more so when dude came up to me and said “congrats man, but why do you look so scared?”.

Three days later we pack our bags to depart. I’m nervous about how to hide the boxed ring  and wonder if I pocket, pack or wear it? I place it underneath my sweater and jacket to which I immediately realize that  it may be problematic-  Unpacking a little black box, a suspiciously similar black box to the black box I handed her 3 days ago? Nope, not sketchy at all. Take two, my dress shoe. I will stuff this box into my shoe and it should’t move at all or be noticed. It seemed the safest bet aside from, in hindsight taking it out of the box, placing it into my shaving kit which could go through a small compartment of the toiletry bag, finally resting safely inside the bag. Yeah I’m clearly not a figurative or literal think outside the box kinda guy. Shoe it was.

We get to the hotel and i need to break free for bit to gather candles for the bath, a fishing rope to tie the ring to (long story short, she loves fishing) and plan it with the staff there. Dani doesn’t buy my “its raining and we may not get an early check-in” story and wants to get out of the car. We both check in and head to our room with a complimentary “chose your breakfast” card, the opportunity I was looking for. We fill it out and I become mr.be ahead of schedule with the “I’ll be right back babe, just gonna hand this in so we’re sure to have breakfast, loooove you” attitude.  I talk to Melissa and Marieve at the front desk, one of which is french and the other a wedding planner… of course! Why wouldn’t I get a friendly french girl and a wedding planner to help me with my proposal? I guess It’s the way it goes when you’re on the right path. I get back and being the awesome lady that she is all my clothes have been taken out of my bag, shoes included. My wardrobe laid out and hung up, shoes with a little black box stuffed in them put away neatly along the floor. Holy crap… did she see the ring? I’m convinced I’m ruined, that this whole thing is a bust and so I panic the entire way to the spa.

The spa rules- hot baths, steam rooms, freezing pools of water, serenity lounges to lay and fall asleep in. After the massages We commit to one more round of spa action and head back to the hotel. I’m more nervous than before, it’s getting to that time and I still don’t know what she may or may not know. We enter our room, and I can smell the candles burning nicely. Dani thinks it’s the fireplace. The room is filled with music, dark and perfectly lit for a proposal that’s maybe about to go sorta wrong-ish. She sees the bath, all lit up and bubbly (more baths, good planning) and I ask her to get in while I get the playlist out on my computer. Mix tapes are the essence of a great set up, I had just the thing and the song to set it off to.

20 minutes into our bath which is really 4 hrs and 20mins of  post spa/bath/pruned skin time, I wait for THE song to come on (she told me months ago which song we would get married to, hint #65222) and I go to the ring. I’m naked (planned) and I look like I’m 80 from the waist down (not planned, at least there’s no misrepresenting her future). I go get the fishing rod Marieve made with ring #2 hanging off of it, I walk back into the room where she’s standing ankle deep in her water hell and I start panicking, What the heck do I say? I take a knee,

“Dani, I asked you 4yrs ago to be my Girlfriend in the shower, in California and now in this bath, today (seriously I was all over the map, freaking out inside!) I’d like to know if you’d wanna be my wife, someday!?!…Will you marry me?”

“what? what do you mean? You don’t want to get married? Babe, you said you didn’t want to get married!” I thought you kept saying……….and………

At this point I start freaking out inside because I’m feeling extra naked and very vulnerable. She goes on arguing facts about the past that I don’t really chose to remember right now and after about what seemed like 5 minutes of her talking I say-

“Dani can you look at what I’m holding?” (It was the fishing rod, perv)

“yeah, it’s my ring!”

“Yeah… wait, what? What does that mean? It’s a new ring, Look at it.”

“what ring is it?”

“It’s your engagement ring, I’m asking you to marry me… (I’m completely losing all confidence and faith right about now) Can you please just give me an answer, please?”

YES! Yes of course, Yes!”

The answer was yes and for 2 minutes or so I really wasn’t sure whether it would be.  With 4 loving years behind us why wouldn’t it be? I definitely wished at one point that I was Bill, excellent at life and all things proposal-like (or Ted?) and could go back in time to try that again. The reality is that I did it my way, which I can appreciate now and maybe not exactly then. After 5 hours of bath time we showered, laughed, cried a bunch, got dressed up, she made a few calls and 2 hrs later we went to go eat.

I feel the need to go and take shower right now, there’s a dirty what-was-I-thinking vibe lingering and it’s not from the beach workout I just came back from. My advice may not be warranted after this story but maybe sharing a passing thought- If you’re gonna ask someone to marry you please plan it out better than I did. Or, maybe don’t plan it at all and see where that takes you. I’m quite certain that if love accompanies sincerity any question you ask will be answered truthfully and from the heart. I love you Dani, thank you for wanting to spend more time in this life with me and for saying yes.

Peace, I’m engaged.

3 Responses to “Oh Lord, Not Two Rings?! The Engagement Story Part 2.”

  1. Tim says:

    Hey Ben,

    I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time and I finally got to read your full engagement-story. usually I come here to hear your opinions on fitness, music and attitude, but this story was pretty heart warming and nothing cheesy. I often felt the same things as you did (although I still haven’t found the right one I do remember some of those situations/moments you just described).
    let me just take the opportunity to say thank you for this great personal and often motivating blog and wish you two all the best!

    I hope I can find the time to write you a longer email in the future and hear you out.

    so long, cheers!
    Tim from Germany

  2. Dad says:

    Just read your post…
    hummm told you sometime ago about bellchurch wedding ringing…
    any dates in mind? Xmas?
    Love YOU always
    p.s. good writing work

  3. David L says:

    Congratulations on your successful engagement. Thanks for sharing all of your funny, scary, and quirky life moments.

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